Chapter 8: Stars in Their Places

- Year 175 vc -

     The smile on Viggo's face put a thrill of joy in his mother's heart as they danced in a circle in the sky room. Hapak and Epifany had built their own house when they settled in Kharma, and as most any Miran who built their own house, they had built a special room on top for sky viewing. It was hardly comparable to an ophrysial, mainly because it was much smaller and not at all round, but square. But there were at least windows facing each direction and a skylight in each section of the pyramid-like roof, providing an adequate view of the sky. So every full moon found the young family in this "sky room," along with others who decided to join them.
     The group had gradually grown by this time, and now the room was usually somewhat crowded for leeligh at the Akylases'. It was an occasion various families and individuals in the area had come to look forward to. It was really nice, feeling so connected to the people around her - loved, respected, trusted, even admired. Life was comfortable and happy. Yet she couldn't help but fondly remember the times when Viggo was a baby and no one ever joined for leeligh, when she and Hapak were all the circle consisted of, dancing around with no rhyme or reason and a wide-eyed baby held between them or sleeping peacefully in his basket nearby.
     Now he had just turned three years old and was dancing along on his own two feet, always eager to participate. In the circle, everyone's hands were joined with their neighbors' (and not the same people all the time), sharing in a representation of oneness, unity and connection. Of course Viggo was quite little, and his mother always made sure he held hands with at least one of his parents. This warm night in mid August she was on one side of him and on his other side was his friend Rune Hadassah, a 12-year-old girl who had taken a special interest in him since he was a baby.
     Hapak was on the other side of the circle, sharing excited glances with his family across from him. He was thrilled with the growth of their little group and at the moment Epifany could hardly tell the difference between him and his giggling three-year-old boy. She smiled broadly as she welled up with happiness. Even if no one had joined them, she was sure her small family would always have been more than enough to keep her satisfied. And even more so as she looked down and saw the reminder that her small family was getting a little bit bigger now. She'd been pregnant for over five months with less than four more to go, and it wasn't hard to notice anymore by the looks of her.
     When all their friends had gone and Viggo was asleep, Hapak and Epifany fell into bed on their backs, tired from all the dancing around and singing. But Hapak was still restless with excitement and Epifany's eyes were still lit up with joy as if she carried a delightful secret as they shared a moment of silence. But it was no secret. "So what'd the little guy think of leeligh?" Hapak asked with a mischievous grin as he turned toward her, propping up his head with his elbow and reaching over to pat her stomach.
     "Viggo always loves leeligh, silly. Why ever do you ask?" She replied, keeping her gaze at the ceiling and failing to suppress her answering smirk.
     "I was talking about this one," he said, poking her round belly before resting his hand on it.
     "Oh, our daughter? But I thought for sure you said 'little guy.' I think this pregnancy is taking a toll on my hearing," she said, raising an eyebrow.
     "What makes you so sure? How do you know it's a girl?" he asked in exasperation.
     "I just do," she replied, "just like Viggo. I knew he would be a boy, because I just felt he was meant to be a boy. And now it's time to have our girl."
     "Well," he answered, removing his hand, "you know I don't care whether it's a girl or a boy. I'm just trying to prepare you in case this one's another boy and you don't have your lucky guess this time. You have to keep your mind open. It's not like you know everything."
     Epifany smiled, but felt confused by his words and tone and by the fact that she felt hurt by them.
     "I mean you could be wrong," he went on, "and what then? If you only think about having a girl, what are you going to do if we end up with another boy? You can't only prepare for what you expect."
     She felt even more confused. "Well," she stammered, "I mean I don't think it would be a problem, because if we do have another boy while I'm expecting a girl, I'm just going to be surprised. Why exactly do I need to prepare for that?"
     "Because Epifany," he answered, "I'm just saying you have to leave it up to the gods. It's their choice and we lumens have to trust them to place the stars in the sky, to put them where they're meant to be, instead of where we want them. It's not our place to tell them what to do."
     "Well no," she replied softly, "of course not."
     To "place the stars in the sky" was a common phrase among Mirans, used to depict their gods as the rulers of destiny, especially as the stars represented lumens, children of the gods. So Epifany was well aware of what Hapak was talking about, but she wasn't sure how it applied in this context. She felt that she was willing to let the gods' plans unfold instead of trying to control them, but that it didn't mean she couldn't understand their plans sometimes.
     Before she could think of anything to say to break the awkward silence that grew, she felt a solid thump on the inside of her belly. It was the first really significant movement she'd felt from the baby so far, and she wished Hapak had felt it too. His hand had just been resting there moments before, when the conversation had been playful and affectionate, before the confusing coldness had settled in out of nowhere. If that hadn't happened, she figured, he probably would have felt it. And then, she imagined, he probably would have claimed that it was the baby's way of agreeing with him, and she would have replied that the baby was punching him for calling her a boy. Neither would have necessarily believed what they were saying, of course. And they wouldn't really be arguing. Rather, they would probably just go on to snuggle cozily until they fell asleep.
     It only took a few seconds for the whole scenario to go through Epifany's mind, and she wondered why it didn't go that way, why there was a sudden gap between them instead. It didn't seem like her man would share in her excitement over the movement of their child right then, and with that thought, her own excitement withered. "I'm ready to sleep now," she said, forcing a yawn to distract from her sadness, "love you."
     "Love you," Hapak answered, reaching for his Legends as she laid on her side, facing away from him. They spoke those words to each other at least every night, but tonight it felt like a formality. She looked out the window at the moon, sending her thoughts to Gadriel and hoping for answers until her eyes closed and she fell asleep.
     When she awoke the next morning, the sunny day greeted her through the window. She rolled over to see her man, but found the bed empty next to her. She wasn't too shocked though, as she knew he was planning to teach the Legends to one of their friends today, and he had chores to do before he could leave. It wasn't surprising that he would decide to get an early start. She wasn't sure how to feel about the idea that he would be gone most of the day. Sometimes these moods came over him like last night, where he just seemed cold, and it seemed best to wait it out until he became more loving again. Today she felt it might be for the best to have the time apart. She didn't understand the cycle, but she had developed a habit of how to handle it at least.
     So she made the bed and set out to begin her own chores, and eventually Viggo woke up and followed her about as usual. She was washing a few of their clothes outside by the clothesline, and he was handing her pins as they were needed, when something caught his eye. "Mama," he said thoughtfully, "what's that black thing on your neck?"
     "You mean this?" his mother asked, touching her wet finger to the small tattoo of a snake below her right ear. He nodded. "It's my new life mark," she answered, "I got it when I was 15. It means I decided I want to live a holy life instead of a selfish life. There's a song from the Legends about it. Do you want to hear it?"
     "Uh huh!" Viggo said enthusiastically, nodding his head up and down so low his chin almost touched his chest, the way only a young child would nod.
     She smiled. "Okay, here it goes:

Your true colors lie inside your heart -

Not what you say, but who you are.

And it matters not how you may seem,

But how you live, and what you dream.

Forsake the surface and look within.

As every snake must shed its skin,

New life and purpose you will find,

When willing to leave the old behind."

     "I heard that song before!" Viggo exclaimed, "At leeligh!"
     "Yep," his mother answered, "it's one of our favorite songs to sing at leeligh. We want to remember to live the right way. That's why we sing the song, and that's why we have these--" she pointed to her mark again-- "to remind us what we decided."
     "You singed it before," he remembered, "not at leeligh too. And Dad too. And he has a mark too, but it's right here," he said, touching the underside of his arm, just below his wrist.
     Epifany nodded, reaching with an open hand to receive another pin. Viggo studied his wrist for a few seconds, then looking up and noticing his mother's waiting hand, scrambled to pick up the pin and give it to her. "But Mama," he went on thoughtfully, "how come your mark is there--" he pointed to her neck-- "and Dad's mark is hee-er?" he held up his wrist to her, looking puzzled.
     She smiled at his childishness. "Easy," she said, "it's because women get them here and men get them there." She started wringing out one of her tunics.
     "Why?" Viggo asked plainly, still unsatisfied.
     Epifany stopped wringing the tunic and held it in front of her, confounded. "Umm," she stammered, "I don't really know," she admitted in confusion.
     Suddenly she heard Carlyn barking furiously and then a horrible wail that sounded like Hapak. She looked out into the field and saw him stagger and fall to the grass. "Viggo, go inside!" she ordered, dropping her clean tunic on the ground and running toward the field.